You don't see me

This is the place where I sit,
This is the part where I love you too much.
This is as hard as a kiss,
I'm getting tired of pretending I'm tough.

I dream of the world where you will understand,
I dream of the melodies that you sang last night.
I dream of fire when you holding my hands,
But it twists into smoke when I turn on the lights.

I'm speechless and fated,
It's too complicated.
Is this what we called 'nothing but good friends'?


This is a not-so-popular song by Nichole Schzinger, the main singer in The Pussycat Dolls. Everytime when I listen to this song, it makes me flash back some scene in these past two years. May be not only some, but plenty of...

I look out to the window...thinking what my friends are probably be doing now? Are they happy with their life in their hometowns? Do they miss their life in Taylor's? Or they are thinking: Yes! I don't have to study in this bloody college anymore, the lecturers are so... (okay, I'm not suppose to say or comment anything about my lecturers in Taylor's because...you know...)
I wonder how Jiang Mun is doing in ss15 now? Is Anne still helping her mother out in the Law Firm in Muar? Shing Yi and Henry must be watching television at home...Had Benjemin eaten APPLE? What about Eva? Is Sze Jia enjoying his life in Kuching? Can Sohan cope up with his break dance in Penang? How things going with Coco and Wayne lately?............

I'm doing nothing at home everyday. Fergie is singing 'fergalicious' in Channel [V], my niece is shaking her butt like Fergie in front of the TV. But I don't find that's even a little bit funny, because she will do that everytime when I watch Channel [V] or MTV, or may be because of my heart is feeling empty, or may be because of I'm just lonely?......or.....may be......yes, I'm missing somebody.....somebody special...somebody who is extremely selfish...


Cause you don't see me,
And you don't need me,
And you don't love me.
The way I wish you would......
The way I know you could......

currently listening to: You Don't See me by Nicole Schzinger
currently feeling: indescribable