Thursday, June 12, 2008

June's Babies!!!

This is a birthday's post for the people in the list below:

10.6.08 - Jiang Mun Chong
15.6.08 - Ning Li Tee
18.6.08 - Eddie Tay
22.6.08 - Margaret Law


Happy Birthday to you guys. I will cherish our friendship until the end of my life!!!

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Something to Share

I met one of my ex-secondary school classmates four days past after work. We were chatting, as usual, on what we've been up to after graduated from high school. As I've mentioned earlier, she is just one of my "classmates". I wouldn't use the word "friends", it is simply because, erm...to be franked, we are not so close to each other in the past or now either though. I thougth it would be another boring-afternoon-tea-session with a random classmate, who was just randomly picked one of the names (well, I'm the lucky one obviously) from her contact list, calls, and asks for hanging out at somewhere.

As the conversation goes down, she spoke to me that she is now actually falling in love with a man, a successful business man, whom she is not suppose to be fell in love with. Yes, the man has a girlfriend and their relationship is going absolutely and perfectly well. On top of that, they have been staying together for more than three years already. And of course, the climax is that the man also claimed to be fell in love with my dear old ex-classmate and they have started a relationship not too long ago.

When asked what so special about this man, she said it's all because of a word 'feel' (for non-chinese readers, it means she has the love feeling on that man). And she emphasized that it is totally not because of the man is rich (he is rich la) as there are many other younger, richer and more good looking men chasing after her (well, in other words, that man is not young and not so good looking). She just feel bad for being a third party, and at the same time, she claimed that she is 100 per cent unwilling to share a man with another woman. She then asked me what to do. I took a few seconds and said:

"Well, baby. It is very much depends on the person who is in such situation. I'm truely not in a position to judge what kind of man he is but you absolutely do, neither I can tell what you should really do. He wants you, and at the same time, he is not ready to give up his girlfriend i.e he wants you and his girlfriend both. If you love him until the extent that you wouldn't care what people may talk about you and you think it is worth it then you can go for it. If it is not that case then...For me, as your friend, of course I will say it is not worth it. But I have mentioned it earlier, it is very much depends on the person who is in such situation. Honestly, If I am in your situation, it is highly likely that I will say something totally different. I may have did something worse that you. Anyway, just one question, are you willing to SHARE him with her?

"Of course I'm not willing to share. But I love him. I know I do and I don't care what people may say about me. I can and I already gave up my reputation and everything. All people around him knew of my existence and that's including his family. But I can't be bothered."

I started to keep quiet for quite some time after that. But I wasn't shocked to hear what she said. It reminds me of my long-existing problem with my boyfriend. I was just wondering whether I would ever give up my reputation for my boyfriend, disregard of what people around me will say about our relationship.

"Yan, I think you deserve a better one."

"Yan, I never against anyone. You know me well. But I think you should go and meet more people out there bacause you are so young. Never think that he is the one..."

"Yan, you may be a successful lawyer in future. You sure you are seriously want to be with him?"

"You could get a better one in UK."

"Try to find one who is up to your standard, Yan. You deserve a so much better one seriously..."

"Think twice, Yan. He may not be the one."

"You should get a richer one."

These are the things that I've heard so many times since I've started a relationship with my boyfriend. And of course, I wasn't bothered by those words earlier. But when people speak about it everytime and all the time. Their words really shaken me. Seriously they do. Then I will frequently ask myself "If one day in future I became successful, will I still be the same as I do today? Will I still appreciate the man that I had like I did yesterdays? Will I still remember the days we've been walked together yesterdays? And more importantly, will I look down on my man at that time? Where is my reputation when people say that he is not as successful as I do? Will I regret for chosen him? Is it worth putting hope on him?"

Do you know what did my friend actually say to me when I told her that?

These are the lines that she told me, which impressed me so much that changed my thoughts forever.

"The man that I fell in love with doesn't understand English at all. He couldn't even read a menu in a restaurant. Do you know that my ideal boyfriend has no much difference than yours? He must be smart and has a well-spoken english. But after I met him. I came to realised that it really doesn't matter after all. I never felt embarrassed about it. I think this is absolutely fine for me. No one in this world is perfect so you do? What I do is I will make sure that I know what he does not know about, to complement him. So same thing goes to you. You think you know everything? Of course, you don't! So he complements you! Now you see? So if people look down on your partner, you should prove to them that they are wrong and that he is so much better than they thought! You should protect him rather than feeling regret for being with him. Who knows what will happen next in the future? He might be far more successful than you do! Two of you should work together for a better future and find solutions for all problems that arise and not looking down on each other on each other's failures".

I was then felt so ashamed. My tears kept falling from my eyes. I felt so sorry to my boyfriend for not being what I should be. And I promised myself that I will never ever doubt of our future again and I'll prove to those who have no confidence in my relationship with my boyfriend that they are wrong.